I dont know if its just me or…

 I  dont know if its just me or…if it happens to others too…
I’m the kinda person who finds happiness even in very small things.and promptly thank GOD for it…..  not tht complaiing..i used to be happy with wat i have..no big demands or requests to Him, coz i knew tht “He knows wat is best for me.”I wldnt complain much, wd accept watever He gives happily..somewhat…  I,used to be a godly person(used to be…all worn out now..), i believe that whatever happens in this world is all according to the GOD Almighty…and for the same fact I have a really BAD realtionship with HIM…sounds stupid ..rite..but thts the way it is.. I’ve changed a lot in the past few years…what changed me..i dunno, maybe circumstances or troubles or maybe GOD.

I used to feel happy just for the fact that im GOD’s own son..today tht same fact hurts me the most…. I  dont know if its just me or if others too can feel the reasoning behind everything..if HE controls everything,then y all these problems..i do not mean to say tht life shd be problem free..i do understand the importance of problems..its to strengthen faith…but there shdnt be so many problems for a person that rather than strengthening, it breaks a persons faith completely..after all faith aint rubber that it can be bent as much as desired..if u bend a stick..to an extent, it’ll bend, some more than others, but after a limit, it just BREAKS!!! and once it breaks, theres nothing u can do to fix it..even if u use glue(intended meaning is s’thing very gud hapening in life)..even the best of glue..the cracks are still left behind..forget the small pieces tht cant b fixed…I wd like to ask GOD, y does this happen..y does this happen..its ok to bend a faith,but y break it??? Being an ardent believer in GOD since my childhood i feel this wd b the last thing tht i cd think of to happen to me..” lose my faith “…

I still blv tht He controls everything, its just tht i find Him so Unjust and Partial….i really have understood the meaning of the famous saying… ” All the world’s a stage and we are puppets…s’thin like tht…and of course puppets controlled by HIm… I really have felt how he controls us as puppets… its so obvious..

i dont know if its just me or…..it happens with everybody… i knw very well tht everyone has some problem or the other…and i knw tht its essential, but the way He has Screwed up my life for the past 4 years…trust me i dont think maby ppl have been screwed like tht.. I  Dont ask “Why Me?” like others do..  my only question is and has been “How much and How long???” will He keep screwing up my life…

I respect and thank Him that he has looked after me all this time thru all the troubles…but i wd like to tell Him…it wd hv been better if He hadn’t… Id rather be soil than go thru shit like this… God dosent understand, how can i expect other people to understand…i cant..i cant…………….

I  dont know if its just me or…if He does it others too..My sincere prayer wd be to please put everything on my head and finish my story and save others frm such a persecution… id rather be grains of sand rather than being alive with out Him……

I  dont know if………